I was sitting outside in the gazebo this afternoon, trying to enjoy the gorgeous sun while reading parenting books for marriage and family class tomorrow. The wind was blowing in spurts … it would brush against my cheeks sweetly and gently, and then the next minute it would pick up and forcefully push my hair away from my face, almost creating the need to brace myself against the gazebo railing. It wouldn’t push me over, but it sure seemed to have a vendetta.
I was listening to my iPod on shuffle as I read, and a song by Tenth Avenue North came on that completely stopped me in my mental tracks, called “Hold My Heart.”
This song describes exactly where I’m at in life right now. I have about two billion decisions I have to make in the next month (job, relationships, where I’m going to live, etc.), and it’s really easy to lose sight of God in the midst of all my seemingly huge dilemmas. But what I forget is that God is so much bigger than all my struggles combined.
It’s funny how I tend to forget the most powerful Person in my life, and instead focus on trying to aleve my pain all by myself. That just makes the pain worse, honestly.
I just want to fall to my knees, close my eyes, stretch out my arms and wait for Him to pick me up and hold my heart close to His. Life is crazy right now, a stronger wind than I’ve felt in a while … but I know Who my rock is, and I will continue to lean on Him.